Somewhere beyond the sea,
Somewhere waiting for me,
My lover stands on golden sands,
And watches the ships that go sailin'.
Our wedding theme was "Beyond the Sea," for no reason other than we both loved the song, and had three different and equally fantastic versions of it to include on our Wedding Mix CDs (that we used instead of a DJ): Django Reinhardt's gypsy jazz take on the tune, Kevin Kline's rendition of the original "La Mer" from the French Kiss soundtrack, and of course Bobby Darin's preeminent version. The song seemed to take on a life of it's own in our relationship. Sometimes, if we were out shopping, and the gentle tone of the opening horn riff would waft through the air, I would take her hand and try -and fail- to get her to dance with me in the middle of whatever store we were in. The film, starring Kevin Spacey, was on our short list of must-see movies; we made a date of it on opening night.
Now, when I hear the song, it feels different, as one might expect. There's the bitter pain of loss, but overwhelmingly, I feel warm, happy, the way I did on our wedding day. It was a beautiful day; 70 and sunny, surrounded by our friends, monarch butterflies fluttering by. To call the day "perfect" would be to grossly overstate the meaning of that word.
My lover still stands on golden sands. They are the golden sands of a port from which this ship has sailed, never to return. In my darkest hour, a friend told me, "Large ships at sea turn slowly, and this life-boat you've found yourself in will not suddenly find paradise on a tropical island. By keeping your paddles in the water even if it seems you're going backwards you will find the shore. I promise."
So for now, I'll sail on. They say there's lots of fish in the sea, and someday, I'll meet someone beyond the shore, and we'll kiss just as before. Happy we'll be beyond the sea, and never again, I'll go sailing.
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