Two weeks ago tomorrow, my world changed forever. The first week wasn't as bad as I expected, and I thought I might be lucky, and handle this thing better. But mourning isn't linear. A good day does not necessarily precede a better day. Today was a bad day.
I got an email about an upcoming sale and event at Ikea - the kind of thing we would have made it a point to go to - and I lost it. I cried at my desk for about ten minutes. I'm glad I can close the door to my office... I didn't want to disturb anyone.
The weight of what lie in front of me is too much to bear. Like an addict, I can't handle the rest of my life without Nancy. I can't imagine a month or more of canvassing. In fact, I can't imagine making it through the night. But I can do the next five minutes. Once that's done, I'll see what else I can do. Right now, I don't have to live the rest of my life. I just have to handle now. One day, one hour, one minute, one breath at a time.
It's tough, but apparently I'm tough. I didn't think I could make it this far. And two weeks has been a longtime.
No comments:
Post a Comment