Mornings are the worst. That seems to be generally true for everyone, but seriously: mornings are the worst. If I stay in bed, keep my eyes closed, and pull the covers up, I can ignore reality for a little while longer. Tomorrow I have to go back to work. Might be good, might not. Hard to say.
Yesterday I got some good news. Nancy offered to cash in her 401k, and give me money to pay the rent for the rest of the lease. We won't know until tomorrow when the banks open what the options actually are. If we can get it, I have some time, in my home (or what's left of it) to figure out what to do next.
In the meantime, I'm just trying to... well, I don't know. Manage? Everything either annoys me, or sends me over the edge. I need some time alone, but I'm scared to be alone. I think in the back of my head, part of me thinks that this whole things about to blow over. I'll go home in a few days, and everything will be okay. I'll wake up in the morning, and Nancy will be there laying next to me. But then I open my eyes.
It looks like, no matter what, I'll be back "home" Saturday. Nancy's leaving either Friday night, or Saturday morning. Then I guess I'm on my own.
I don't know what to do. I've always been the one that clipped the coupons, made the grocery lists, and cooked the meals, but faced with doing it alone, I feel like I don't know what to do. Ramen's cheap and easy, I guess. Maybe once I have some questions answered about what's going on, I'll be able to focus on my big problem: getting on with my life.
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