I don't know. I was really hoping at this point I'd be starting to work on dealing with my emotional issues, but the practical and financial issues won't go away. I don't know.
The 401k money isn't coming until, at the very earliest, late October. I have a little money in the bank, enough to pay rent on October 1st, but, barring any other developments in income, I'll have to leave, and I'll have to talk to the landlord about subleasing the apartment. I'd get the deposit back March 1, 2010, and then look at getting my own place, but it's just so hard to comprehend right now. I don't know where I'd go. I'm at my mom's right now, but I feel in the way; mainly because I am, and several months of it aren't going to make it better.
Then there's the issue of moving. I don't want to do it if I don't have to, but I may not have much choice. Maybe I'll hear some good news about a job in the next few days, but I'm not holding my breath. I also have a meeting with a client about a freelance gig Thursday morning, but that's not going to be enough for very long. A month or two at best.
So, here I am.
I say "I don't know" a lot these days. I just say it, because I don't know. I don't know what to do, I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know if the sun is going to keep coming up in the east. I feel like my life has been a series of abandonments, this being yet another.
I'm going to need a lot of help. I haven't done this solo thing, at least not for a long time. Other than that, I don't know.
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