It occurred to me recently that I don't remember how to start talking to people, (yes, I saw House last night, and I caught the bit about starting with "Hello") and I'm extremely intimidated by women. I realize, too, that this isn't a huge concern right now, but at the same time, as with any skill, it never hurts to practice. So that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to practice talking to women.
My goal is a low-key coffee date. Simple. Just two people talking, with no expectations and no strings attached. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, although new friends are never a bad thing. But I've learned recently that I have to face my fears head-on. It's not something I would have ever done on my own; I'm playing a forced hand. But I think I'm playing it well.
When Nancy left, I remember thinking, "What am I going to do? How am I going to live?" I was scared to death, I had no idea where to start, and I was convinced that I'd never be able to cobble together a living, especially immediately after being so devastated. Then I looked up and realized I had already done what I needed to do. I found another job, got lines out for better jobs down the road, and figured out a rough (and very conservative) budget, all basically on instinct. I took my fear, and redirected the energy into taking care of business. So, why not tackle another big, looming demon?
I don't have a time frame for this new goal, however. It's unrealistic and unfair to myself and anyone I might come in contact with. Sure, I could take a contrived, callous approach, and get what I want, but that's not me. At least, I hope it's not me. This exercise is as much about getting to know me and how I think, feel, and interact just as much as it is getting to know someone else.
I'm not looking to replace right now, but I need to get my legs underneath me. If you plan on running a marathon someday, you might want to get up off the couch and take a walk. So I'll go out, feign smiles when I have to, and relearn human interaction. And according to Michael Caine in Batman Begins, "You start pretending to have fun, you might even have a little by accident."
I'm going to practice talking to women.
My goal is a low-key coffee date. Simple. Just two people talking, with no expectations and no strings attached. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, although new friends are never a bad thing. But I've learned recently that I have to face my fears head-on. It's not something I would have ever done on my own; I'm playing a forced hand. But I think I'm playing it well.
When Nancy left, I remember thinking, "What am I going to do? How am I going to live?" I was scared to death, I had no idea where to start, and I was convinced that I'd never be able to cobble together a living, especially immediately after being so devastated. Then I looked up and realized I had already done what I needed to do. I found another job, got lines out for better jobs down the road, and figured out a rough (and very conservative) budget, all basically on instinct. I took my fear, and redirected the energy into taking care of business. So, why not tackle another big, looming demon?
I don't have a time frame for this new goal, however. It's unrealistic and unfair to myself and anyone I might come in contact with. Sure, I could take a contrived, callous approach, and get what I want, but that's not me. At least, I hope it's not me. This exercise is as much about getting to know me and how I think, feel, and interact just as much as it is getting to know someone else.
I'm not looking to replace right now, but I need to get my legs underneath me. If you plan on running a marathon someday, you might want to get up off the couch and take a walk. So I'll go out, feign smiles when I have to, and relearn human interaction. And according to Michael Caine in Batman Begins, "You start pretending to have fun, you might even have a little by accident."
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